And The Award For The Most Use Of The Words ‘Blood’ & ‘Group’ In A Sentence Goes To…

*Tubridy holds the audience’s gaze for a moment*
.
.
*Fumbles with envelope*
.
.
“Eithne Donnellan, in today’s Irish Times front page article about the laptop stolen in New York!”
*Fanfare*
*Cut to audience nodding approvingly and applauding as the big screen lights up on stage and the following worlds scroll slowly accross*
“The patients whose blood group records were on [...]

So Many Cards, So Little Joy

No, not valentines cards. Important ones like bank cards and credit cards. My credit card stopped working in London about two weeks ago. I never use the thing except every now and then online, so it doesn’t ever have to be swiped or scanned. And it’s immaculate, pristine condition meant that after a weekends worth [...]

Love Is…..

I’m single.
Go and fuck yourselves.

Bing!

This is the inside of the lift in my job.
As you can see, it’s made by a company called Schindler.
Schindler’s Lifts.
That’s funny.
It’s a lift that you won’t die in.

The Right Jacket

Woke up this morning (der ner ner ner ner), and, after guzzling a mouthful of Dunnes Cola that happenned to be right beside my head, I looked out the window. Fantastic. It was a beautiful January morning with a bright, clear sky. It looked sharp. I fucking love sharp days.
(more…)

Down With This Sort Of Thing

In a week when the Archdiocese of Dublin finally ended it’s ‘Catholic’s First‘ school enrolement policy, some of the Protestants up the North refused to stop being reactionary muppets.
(more…)